Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Engineers

Thursday, June 23rd, 2005

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car. The car broke down.

The Mechanical Engineer said, “I think a rod broke. We can check the rods.”

The Chemical Engineer said, “The way it sputtered at the end, I don’t think it’s getting gas. We shall check the gas tank.”

The Electrical Engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system. We shall check the circuitry.”

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?”

The Computer Engineer said, “We shall get out of the car and get in again!”

9 Months Later…

Monday, May 2nd, 2005

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack’s mini van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

“I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,” she explained. “I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.”

“Don’t worry,” Jack said. “We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.” The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, “Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about 9 months ago?”

“Yes, I do.”, said Bob

“Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?”

“Well, um, yes”, Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. “I have to admit that I did.”

“And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?”

Bob’s face turned beet red and he said, “Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask?”

“She just died and left me everything.”

How Company Policies Get Established

Wednesday, April 27th, 2005

Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling. Each time a monkey tries to climb the ladder, all the monkeys are sprayed with ice water, which makes them miserable.

Soon enough, whenever a monkey attempts to climb the ladder, all of the other monkeys, not wanting to be sprayed, set upon him and beat him up.Soon, none of the eight monkeys ever attempts to climb the ladder. One of the original monkeys is then removed, and a new monkey is put in the room.

Seeing the bananas and the ladder, he wonders why none of the other monkeys are doing the obvious, but, undaunted, he immediately begins to climb the ladder. All the other monkeys fall upon him and beat him silly. He has no idea why. However, he no longer attempts to climb the ladder.

A second original monkey is removed and replaced. The newcomer again attempts to climb the ladder, but all the other monkeys hammer the crap out of him. This includes the previous new monkey, who, grateful that he’s not on the receiving end this time, participates in the beating because all the other monkeys are doing it. However, he has no idea why he’s attacking the new monkey.

One by one, all the original monkeys are replaced. Eight new monkeys are now in the room. None of them have ever been sprayed by ice water. None of them attempt to climb the ladder. All of them will enthusiastically beat up any new monkey who tries, without having any idea why.

And that’s how any company policy gets established.

Funny Proverbs

Wednesday, March 30th, 2005

I got this lot through e-mail. Enjoy…

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

As you shall make your bed so shall you - mess it up.

Better be safe than - punch a 5th grader.

Strike while the - bug is close.

It’s always darkest before - daylight savings time.

You can lead a horse to water but - how?

Don’t bite the hand that - looks dirty.

A miss is as good as a - Mr.

You can’t teach an old dog new - math.

If you lie down with the dogs, you’ll - stink in the morning.

The pen is mightier than the - pigs.

An idle mind is - the best way to relax.

Where there’s smoke, there’s - pollution.

Happy the bride who - gets all the presents.

A penny saved is - not much.

Two’s company, three’s - the musketeers.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and - you have to blow your nose.

Children should be seen and not - spanked or grounded.

When the blind leadeth the blind - get out of the way.

Microsoft’s Coding Style

Tuesday, March 15th, 2005

This has got to be Microsoft’s coding style…

From Sudhir’s Humour Blog

Cricket: Orey Kadi!!!

Sunday, March 13th, 2005

I couldn’t resist posting this. It is too good…

Q: What are the names of Kumble’s parents???
A: Aamble & Pomble!!!

If you thought that one was bad, wait till you hear this one…

Q: What would you name a female spin bowler???
A: Balathiruppurasundari!!!

Hahahahaha…